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21st November 2017 

Trauma

Giving what you have is throwing a party, not love. Giving what you don’t have is love. (Lacan, 2015, The Seminar of Jacques Lacan VIII;Transference)

'When people inhabit a particular place, its features inhabit their psychological field......Craig Chalquits, Terrapsychology 2007.
This quote may be interpreted to mean a romantic place or perhaps a traumatic place. Clients who have been traumatised through abuse often find difficulty in forgetting.

Romantic relationships, for many of us, are powerful experiences. Way back in the 1940's love was viewed as subjective feeling of happiness, over value of our love object and undervalue of reality. There is a strong element of fantasy in our initial feelings of love. Edmund Bergler who worked with Freud discussed this in one of his many publications. An interesting theory of Freud's which Bergler pursued was about how we hold on to negative emotions from childhood and how these influence us in adult life.

Have you fallen in love with someone else? Have you fallen out of love with your partner. These times can be very difficult and I will help you through this emotional turmoil.

We all suffer traumatic experiences in our lives, for some even birth can be terrifying for mother and baby. Leaving our mother to go to school, school itself and adolescence are often littered with poor experiences. Even falling in love or out of love can be traumatic.

Growing up in a home where there are lots of arguments or if we are maltreated leaves scars.

Our first romantic love can seem wonderful, yet, often it is our first taste of trauma. Later, we may meet someone who fills all of our expectations, but even this can end in rejection and abandonment.

Attachment is such an important area for us all and often the consequences of problems when we were young come to the surface in adult life

Living and loving a partner with a personality disorder is very difficult. Sometimes they love you and suddenly hate you in the next breath.

I will work with you through these difficult times and help you come to terms with all your underlying pain and feelings.